Love Is Not a Group Project

Silence in the Peanut Gallery, Please

Here’s the thing about modern love: everybody suddenly thinks they’re a consultant. The moment you start dating someone, the unsolicited advice rolls in like a broken faucet, drip by drip. The friends, family, coworkers, and strangers who “just feel called to tell you something.” The gossip. The history. The struggles and unsolicited advice slowly pouring in. But, love is not a group project, and my relationship might not fit into the box that someone else has created. And the older I get, the more I realize that the most important part of a relationship is knowing what works for you two, not what works for the internet or your best friend. Then theres always that one couple who swears they’ve never had an argument (which is a lie, by the way). The universal blueprint for love does not exist.

Some couples thrive with two full-time careers. Others work beautifully with one partner staying home and running the family command center. And then there’s my relationship, we both know what we want; to have a family. It so obvious that he would be the most amazing father to future children, almost like that gene that was instilled in him at birth. He is an amazing man and supportive partner. I just melt every time this strong willed man holds me in his wildly hunky arms, I fall more in love. But, let’s be honest: I’m not just working. I’m constructing a potential dynasty from scratch. No blueprint. Like, we’re not building IKEA furniture people…hellooo, this relationship doesn’t include instructions!

I’m building Elegantly Unhinged with my bare hands, no outside help, no fairy godmother publicist. Hopefully one day I’ll see it turned into a podcast. Maybe a brand? Maybe a household name. Who the fuck knows at this point? But definitely something worth betting on. And being loved, supported, and believed in; where the wins are small and the vision is still half chaos, half brilliance means something. That is the highest form of partnership I could ever ask for. He sees the vision, and thats what matters to me. There is nothing sexier than someone who sees your potential before the world does and says, “Yeah, I’m in! Let’s go.”

The truth is, rebuilding your life can’t happen in the same place that once broke you. It requires a level of emotional renovation HGTV couldn’t budget for. Changing your energy is non-negotiable. Growth looks messy before it looks magical. And yes, some relationships are spreadsheets and split bills and perfectly symmetrical roles. BUT Mine? Well that might involve lots of struggles, finding angel investors, a creative storms, brand strategy meltdowns, late nights, and someone who will gently shove me into rooms filled with people willing to take a risk on me. That’s my normal. That’s my dynamic. That’s my relationship. And it doesn’t need to mirror anyone else’s to be valid.

So while other couples divide everything down the middle, my love story looks like emotional scaffolding and professional tag-teaming. It looks like someone holding steady while I level up, evolve, and occasionally question my entire existence at 4 a.m. while starring up at the ceiling. It looks like supporting a woman who is still in her construction phase but destined to become the G.O.A.T. It’s not the relationship I imagined for myself ten years ago, but it’s the relationship that fits the woman I’ve become: ambitious, resilient, unhinged in the most elegant way possible.

Being financially independent is by no means my goal… ever. I crave a partnership. And just to have my own thing, that allows me to be myself and get the creative juices following. An outlet to be wild and unhinged, having unfiltered ‘yap’ sessions with sarcasm, emotional chaos, and “she said whaaat?” moments.

Every time I thought I was breaking, I was actually forging. Every low point was a leveling-up moment I hadn’t recognized yet. And now? I choose a partner who understands that I’m not breaking at all, but actually building. I’m creating something that requires flexibility, belief, and a little delusion. And if he sticks with me, if he holds space while I rise, those small wins he’s celebrating now will turn into something unforgettable. Because love doesn’t need to look like anyone else’s to be real. It just needs to work for us. Unless you are planning to invest in Elegantly Unhinged, please kindly keep your unsolicited relationship advice to yourself and mind your own romance.

-Elegantly Unhinged

xo